I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize