ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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