I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
