How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
