Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
