Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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