If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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