why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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