if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
