also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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