so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
