My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
