Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize