How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My pussy is not your playground.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Are my feet made of real feet?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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