come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
