I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
