Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
