i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
