i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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