I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
