Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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