I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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