he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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