Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
