Sry I called you an 8
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
