I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize