Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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