Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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