so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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