The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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