Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize