Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize