high people should be assigned attendants
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
