Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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