I'm drive I can fine osifer
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Couch. On fire.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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