were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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