i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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