Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just saw a hot homeless man
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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