the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
