The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
