Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You were trust falling into bushes
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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