I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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