I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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