Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
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Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
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There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.