She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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