Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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