those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize