are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
