Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
