Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize