Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
