I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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