he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
