I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
There r osticjed everywhere
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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