He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
