Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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