Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
